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5 Ways to tell if Your Spouse is Controlling or Abusive

Published on: November 1, 2022

Are you in a relationship with someone who is a controlling partner or abusive? Are they making you feel like you can’t make your own choices or that their way is the only way? Do they treat you like a child and tell you what to do rather than work with you as an equal?

You might think you’re just a little extra-protective of your partner, but if you find yourself constantly questioning your spouse’s actions or overbearing in their own lives, it’s time to start evaluating where things are going.

You’re not sure if it’s just a personality thing or if they’re trying to control you. You want to know whether they’re just controlling and manipulative or abusive.

Here are some signs of a controlling relationship may be headed down the wrong path.

They don’t trust you.

Abusers often try to control their partner’s activities and time. They might check their messages and texts, call them constantly to ensure they aren’t doing things the abuser doesn’t approve of or even keep them from seeing family and friends. If your spouse does this, both of you need to get help so that you can start rebuilding trust between the two of you.

They use threats or violence.

Abusers will often threaten their partner with physical harm if they don’t do what the abuser wants them to do. Physical violence can also play a role in an abusive relationship, as abusers may hit, slap, kick, or otherwise hurt their partners as a form of punishment for perceived infractions against them or their rules for the relationship. If these behaviors sound familiar in your relationship with your spouse, please reach out today! We’re here for you 24/7!

They don’t give you respect.

Do they treat you with respect and care? Or do they treat you like garbage? If your spouse treats you with respect and consideration when other people are around but treats you differently when no one else is around, this could be a red flag for abuse. This behavior shows that they don’t care about who sees what kind of treatment is being given—it’s all about getting what they want by any means necessary!

They try to control your money or time.

A controlling spouse will try to control every aspect of their partner’s life, including how much money they make or how much time they spend away from home. If your partner tries to stop you from going out with friends or working on projects that don’t involve them, it could be a sign of abuse or control issues in the relationship—and those are no good!

They make all of the decisions.

If your spouse is making all of the major decisions in the relationship—where you live, what you do for fun, who comes over and when—they probably aren’t giving you enough freedom to decide for yourself. If you feel like they’re always trying to control what you do and who you spend time with, it might be time to talk about how that makes you think.

The Bottom Line

If your spouse is manipulative and controlling, it is important to recognize the signs of abuse in your relationship so that you can ask for help. You have every right to a happy and healthy marriage, and if you are being abused or feel like you are in danger, tell someone about your concerns. Whether it’s your partner or a friend or family member, letting people know what’s going on is a good first step towards controlling the situation and taking care of yourself. If you need help finding resources in your area, check out a directory for domestic violence shelters.

For more information about Mental Health Conditions. Visit our Mental Health Library page. To understand and cope with your psychological symptoms, get help from our Top 10 Psychiatrists, Psychologists, and Therapists who are known for providing the best mental health treatment and psychiatry services. To book an appointment, Please call us at (800) 457-4573 or submit an appointment request.

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